Saturday, September 1, 2012

My New Friend

I got a Venus Fly Trap yesterday.  I've never actually seen one in real life and I've always wanted one of my own to feed hamburger to, and finally yesterday my childhood dream came true when I saw one at the grocery store.  It was in a plastic container which I assumed was for my own safety.  I wanted to replant it into a pretty glass jar I have but I was afraid it would bite me so it was kind of a messy process.  When I told Mitch that I had trouble replanting it because I didn't want to touch it he said, "Did you think it would... bite you???"  I just looked at him because yes, that is obviously what I thought.  Who wouldn't?  They BITE.  That's their thing.  Then he said, "You know it's a plant, right?"  Yeah, I know it's a plant.  A biting plant.  And I don't want to get bitten.  Jeez, what's so hard to understand?

After I replanted it and got it all situated, I turned on the outside light and waited for moths.  It always seems like moths immediately appear around a lightbulb, but when you're waiting for them, it takes a while.  I lost patience and went in the house and looked for a fly.  I found one, slapped it just hard enough to stun it and then picked it up with a tweezer and tried to feed it to my plant.  Apparently my plant wasn't hungry because when I put the stunned fly in it's jaws, it didn't snap shut like I was expecting (hoping).  It just sat there and then the fly came back to his senses and flew away.  Your loss, Flytrap!  The directions that came with it say specifically, "Do not feed your flytrap meat!" which I assume is because if I feed it meat it will grow like it's on steroids and be aggressive and dangerous.  When it gets used to its new home and gets hungry I'm going to feed it some raw hamburger.  I can't wait.  I want this plant to grow to frightening proportions and then I'll get a sign to put next to my door that says, "Beware of the plant"

my dream

my reality... (for now.)

4 comments:

  1. I'm thoroughly impressed that you managed to slap a fly but not kill it. You must have a soft touch.

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    1. Thank you very much! I never realized that was an impressive skill until you mentioned it. I should talk it up in job interviews.

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  2. Be careful that plant doesn't sneak up on you and bite you in the butt!

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    1. It's not very sneaky, but I bet if I hung my butt over the jar it would gently bite me.

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