I woke up this morning and checked my email to see I got an email from both of my parents:
The mailbot is from my Mom. It was this:
She knows that I've been doing a lot of swimming this summer and just wants me to be informed that IT COULD KILL ME. Notice her personal message, "Don't swim in any small lakes! Pretty close to home." Don't worry, Mom, I'm pretty sure my body is already crawling with all the deadly amoebas it can possibly host. Hey, I bet one of those little amoebas is in my brain and that's why I'm so dumb lately!
This is my dad's email:
Did you read the internet article about the woman in China that had a spider living in her ear canal for 5 days? She went to the doc because she had an itching on the right side of her head. Doc looked in her ear canal and saw a spider in there. A flush with saline solution got the spider out. What if she had left it in long enough for the spider to have babies? Dozens of little spiders crawling around inside your head? Wow! Something to think about as you drift off to sleep. You could tell Kira, "Oh mah god Bibsie! I think I may have a spahder in mah noggin! Whatever am I going to do abhout it??????? ...........
He doesn't know this, but I killed a little spider that had spun a web right by my night stand the other day. She probably already laid her eggs in my head. I have been trying to forget about that, telling myself not to be ridiculous and paranoid, but now that I know that it really happens to people, I'm not going to feel so stupid when I tape all my orifices closed before I go to bed. (Sorry Mitch).
Thanks Mom! Thanks Dad!