Friday, March 9, 2012

Stiffy

I had book club again last night.  I haven't had that much fun in a long time.  Probably since last month's book club meeting. 

One of the ladies told a story about how when she was a girl sitting at dinner with her family, she asked the question, "Why do people alway say, 'Ward, don't be so hard on the Beaver' and why is that so funny?"  Nobody would tell her.  Later when she learned the hilarity of the double entendre she was mortified that she had asked her parents, and incredibly grateful that they didn't tell her.



Another lady said when she was a teenager, again sitting down at dinner with her family, she told a joke that she had recently heard.  Everytime she heard someone tell the joke it got a big laugh, but she didn't really get it.  She told the joke to her parents.  "What is better than roses on your piano?  Tulips on your organ!"  And then she laughed and laughed, pretending to get it.  Her parents gave her a courtesy laugh and quickly changed the subject.  She says when she was older and thought about it, it dawned on her that she told an oral sex joke to her parents and she didn't even get it.  Mortifying. 



This brings me to something Kira did lately, and when she thinks back on it in five or ten years she will be mortified and tell her book club all about it.  She had one of those long balloons like clowns use to make balloon animals.  She blew it up and to be funny said, "I made a balloon animal.  It's a snake."  Then she waved it around a little and said, "It's kind of a stiff snake.  I'll name him Stiffy."  And then she went up to Mitch and poked him relentlessly and kept saying in a deep growly voice, "Hey Mitch, say hi to Stiffy.  Stiffeh.  Stiffeeeeehhhhh!" and then she said something about Stiffy only having one eye and, "Hey Mitch, look into Stiffy's one eye and say hi!"  Mitch tried to stifle his laughter and thought it best to try to ignore her so she would stop poking people in the ribs with her balloon phalus and yelling "MY NAME IS STIFFEEEEHHHHHH!" and eventually she did. 

I hope I am around when it dawns on her how inappropriate it was that she blew up a balloon, named it Stiffy, and ran around the house poking her parents, grandparents, and brother yelling out "Say hi to Stiffy!"  I really really hope I can see her face when that happens. 

Stiffeeeehhhhhh
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13 comments:

  1. I haven't laughed this hard in a long time!!!!

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  2. In tears over here!!! A few weeks ago I was helping my Mom clean out a guest bedroom when I stumbled on a bag of old pins--you know, the kind with messages on them. Sorting through them, one made my cheeks burn with embarrassment as I vividly recalled my 7 or 8 year old self buying it as a present for my Dad at the supply store at a lake campground. I thought he'd really like it--it spoke to a special, sharing kind of relationship! It said, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours." OBVIOUSLY, I had no idea what that meant and I wish I could remember my parents reaction back at the cabin when I presented my gift. Awkward!!

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  3. Kristin: LOL!!! That is hilarious!

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  4. LOOK IN STIFFY'S ONE EYE!! hahahahaha

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  5. And you didn't get that on video, why? Oh, the stories you'll be able to tell at her wedding....

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  6. Dana McKibbage WaldbilligMarch 10, 2012 at 11:32 AM

    Or the time I was 12 in Hawaii, and I begged my parents to buy me a shirt that said 'I got lei'd Hawaiian-style'. We still laugh about that one, since I begged and argued, insisting that I had gotten '"lei'd" at the airport as I stepped off the plane and couldn't understand why they wouldn't buy me the shirt since I'd earned it!

    PS: Sarah, you are the greatest addition to our bookclub. It's not the same without you, so you can NEVER skip.

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  7. I am very proud to be a member of this book club and my stomach hurts from laughing after every meeting. The books are a bonus to the friendships.

    Sarah..keep writing so I can keep laughing!

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  8. Dana, I would LOVE to see a little kid wearing that shirt. In fact, if it was my kid, I might get it and take a picture of them wearing it and then "lose" the shirt. I would revel in showing them the picture when they got older.

    Rhonda, I couldn't agree more, our bookclub is the best.

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  9. p.s. I died when I read this. "one eye". Why does stiffy only have one eye?!

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  10. Stiffy's one eye is the end where he was tied off. When she was showing Mitch his one eye, she closed one of her eyes so she also only had one eye and talked like a pirate, "Mitch, look into Stiffy's eye! Aaarrrgg!"

    Stiffy popped but she is still supremely proud of herself for being so hilarious and she has since renamed him "Colonel Stiffy." I might have to get her some more of those balloons and take video.

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