Some Important Milestones

Two things have happened in the last few days and I feel like because of them I’m starting an important new chapter in my life. First of all, I have gotten 90,000 hits on this blog.

(OMG!!!!!!)

Of course, probably more than half of them are from people googling crazy things like “teens peeing” and “ativan shut up juice,” but you know what? I’ll take it. So thank you to everyone who comes to visit me at this blog every day or week or month or whatever. I’d keep writing even if I nobody ever read it but if that was the case it would probably be a bunch of craziness and someone would come across it sometime and declare that they’ve discovered a hidden genius! Just kidding. They’d just say I was nuts. I keep it sane for you, my people. Oh sure, I’ve reached out once or twice and let you in on what’s really going on in my head, hoping that people would read it and say, “What? That’s not crazy. I do that.” But you didn’t. You said I was weird. That’s okay, I already knew that. But I don’t need to advertise it, do I? So I will continue to keep it mostly sane. Anyway, like I say, I’d still write even if I had no readers, but I am really really glad I have readers. I love knowing people are coming here to see if there is anything new I have to say.

The other milestone is that I cleaned my oven for the first time since we moved into the house twelve years ago. It’s an old 1970s Tappan and it’s small. It looked so old and crappy when we moved in I thought it would break down so why bother with the cleaning? Is there a worse chore than cleaning an oven? I don’t think there is. I almost cleaned it once three years ago but then I didn’t. After about ten years the thought of cleaning it becomes absurd. Why would I do that? It’s disgusting! So I’d made myself a mental flowchart which I turned into an actual flowchart:

See? It doesn’t need to be cleaned more than every 12 years. Next time I clean it I will be 53 years old. I’m glad because it will take about 12 years for these Easy-Off chemical burns to heal.

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